Marbolid

You can teleport, however not trough dematerialising and rematerialising again, rather trough immense speed. Due to the human phisiology and anatomy, teleportation would be fatal. I wish for THREE mars bars this time!

Wish granted, you have taken a position as a store clerk at a Swiss clock shop, at the start of the day you re-arange the pieces in the store, moving time both litteraly and figurativly. I once again wish for 2 god damn mars bars

You meet Donald Trump at a random no-immigrants rally, you hit it off and are going bowling next satruday. I wish for 2 mars bars.

Wish granted, however, they add MLP and Hello Kitty cards which are so OP that everyone is forced to play them. I wish for Re:Monster to get more chapters. I NEED MUH FIX MAN!

Wish granted, however, you can now ONLY speak french. Hon hon baguette. I wish to hold control over the quality of manga and when its released.

Wish Granted, BUT it actually works. I wish for penis shaped horns growing out of my elbows.

Wish granted, however after taking over the world under marshal law, money becomes worthless, anarchy sets in, your army kills you. I wish for an uncorruptable wish

You recieve the things you wished for however, the dollar and euro plummet down to the value of the Zimbabwe Dollar and are now worth less then the paper they are printed on, the 400 fortune cookies have no fortunes in them, non of them, the candle though looking nice refuses to light up and the box of chocolates(at least I assume that is what you meant) is empty. I wish to poses omnipotence and that no other being in the universe posseses it.