grudge

I use a catapult to fire Werther's Original's onto the hill, the veteran being old has no choice but to leave his post and start collecting the small hardened candy 'crack for pensioners' and while he is happily popping them into the toothless hole he just removed his dentures from I sneak up to the machine gun and plug the barrel with a magic cork. When the veteran returns i stand in front and taunt him into opening fire thus causing the gun to backfire rendering both useless. I then proceed to set up projectors everywhere and 'Rick Roll' you till you can take it no longer and run screaming from the hill. I deploy my cloaking device and cloak the entire hill. I now have the hill. In my best Jack Nicholson impersination I yell "you want the hill, you can't even see the hill"